Tuesday, February 26, 2013

remembering


Lately I've been thinking about my life before Minnie.
My pregnancy. A belly that actually looked like a basketball. Sausages for ankles. The nerves as I wondered whether I was ready to be a mom.
Could I really do this? Would I feel like myself again? Would everything go ok?
And then...



There was meeting her for the first time...



None of that meant anything anymore.
How can you explain what it feels like to meet someone and feel like you've known them forever?
I'd had a c-section and hadn't been able to see her until the surgery was complete.
Robert placed her in my arms and I just lost it...she was mine.
This is who I'd been waiting so long to see.
For me, it was a glimpse into heaven.



I am nervous to do this all over again, to feel my body change, to hope against everything that all goes just right.
I am a worrier by nature and I believe nothing has made me more worrisome than motherhood.
Being entrusted with a little spirit, a little person, is a daunting task.
But to be able to feel that feeling again, that rush of pure, honest love when I see my babe for the first time...
Feeling my heart expand one million times over until it feels like it might burst.
To me, that's what life is about.
That's the stuff dreams are made of.
It is that moment I am looking forward to most.

3 comments:

  1. Can't believe how dark her hair was. So glad I was there for that. Love being there!!

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  2. The first time for me was SO magical. Everything about my whole pregnancy, labor and delivery was just so picture perfect that I worried the second round wouldn't match up. And in some ways it didn't, but in other ways the second time was even more incredible! I think that (sort of) knowing what to expect in those hours and days following the birth help you to soak every single second in bc those moments are so few in life. Can't wait for you to experience #2....I have absolutely LOVED it!

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  3. I just love this post. I agree with every word written here -- I, too, am a worrier by nature. <3

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