Thursday, January 17, 2013

a rut of sorts

I'm going to blame it on the weather, because honestly, I have no idea where this is coming from.
Maybe it's due to the fact that exercise lately to me means carrying Minnie up the stairs or heaving two cartons of milk in from the car.
Maybe it's my body trying to tell me something.
The fact of the matter is, I'm in a rut.

Usually I've got two or three projects on the brain and I just wait until nap time to get them pounded out.
Yet lately all I want to do is watch an episode of Downton Abbey, The New Girl and Nashville (yes, one of each) and drown my rutty sorrows in a big bag of peanut butter M&M's.
Creativity...where art thou??!
The blog has been sorely neglected, as have all of my motherly and wifely duties.
I need a serious pick-me-up. Any ideas???

To be honest, I think I'm still getting used to this whole "being a mom and staying at home" thing.
Yes, I freely admit that even after 17 months of it, I'm still struggling to really wrap my mind around the idea and to find real fulfillment in it.
Minnie is the most marvelous thing to ever happen to me, and to say that I wished to be anywhere but home with her would be a lie.
However, finding fulfillment in motherhood is difficult.
You other moms know what I mean, right?
I don't mind banana goop dripping down my pant leg and I don't even mind boogers on my shoulder. It's all entirely worth it.
But at the end of the day it's hard to really feel like I accomplished anything, especially when we don't even leave the house because it's 5 degrees outside.

And now I feel like I'm just rambling (probably because I am) but I guess I'm just trying to make sense of it all for myself.
I have an incredible life and I have so much to be grateful for.
I am not unhappy, not in the slightest.
I think the issue is I feel like I have more to give beyond just being a wife and a mother, and I'm having a hard time deciphering where I need to channel my energy.
I'm working on it though. I really am.
And you know what? I think I see an end in sight.


  1. We have these ruts. It will get better && I LOVE YOUR NEW HEADER! SO cute!

  2. I hear you. :( I found myself in one of those ruts not too long ago. I took some time to do some things for me: get my hair done, go out for coffee with a friend whe nym husband got home from work, taking a bubblebath a few times a week and READING AGAIN -- the latter of which was severely neglected when I became a mother. Just doing more things that remind me, if that makes sense.

    Hang in there, it will pass. <3

  3. You know I get it!! I'm telling you, if you make a "To Do" list the night before, you will be amazed at how productive you are and how good you feel at the end of the day. You just have to MAKE yourself do the stuff you know you should. Just two days ago, I got out my rut. In the last week, I watched all of Season 1 and Season 2 of Downton Abbey. I think it has to do with cold weather and post-Christmas blues, too. A pack of mini marshmallows may or may not be missing. Anyway, just sayin', today I went running, did creative things with the kids, cleaned out a few closets, washed AND folded 2 loads of laundry, cooked a real dinner, mopped the floor, and I squeezed in the last episode of Season 2 (which was fantastic). I didn't make it to the shower, but I still feel pretty good about myself.

  4. I feel ya! I've been watching desperate housewives 24/7 lately.. A whole season in one week in fact. That's a little depressing. Pretty sure I didn't get out of my pjs for 2 whole days. I find that if I make a list of projects, or a to do list for the week I'm much more productive. I also like cooking, so I spend lots of time on pinterest finding new recipes to try out. The life of a stay at home mom isn't easy, but it's definitely worth it. :)

  5. I'm a new follower and I'm not a mom yet, but I've wondered about the same things that you are talking about. I have often wondered how hard it would be to become a full-time stay-at-home-mom. I've worried if I can do it and if I'd be happy. I think that you are taking it from the right perspective though. It CAN be really hard sometimes I'm sure. I know that when I become a mom that even though I'm really excited about it and I know that it will be a huge blessing I know that there will still be days that I'm going to feel (like how you put it) like I'm in a rut. I'm so glad that you have projects though that you try to work on. And just remember you can do this! :)