Monday, April 14, 2014

a little perspective

The last few days have kind of been killer for some reason. 
I have been at my wits end for so many ridiculous and some very valid reasons too, but it has been exhausting. 
Minnie decided Lou was a piggy bank Saturday and stuffed the poor babes mouth with coins from her actual piggy bank.
Bob was unsure if one actually made its way down her throat so we spent a good chunk of our afternoon at instacare getting an X-ray just to be sure. 
Thank the heavens above the girl was change free, but it was her nap time during our visit and she was a hot mess and I was kind of just a ball of nerves about the whole thing. 
You'd think I'd have this mom thing down nearly three years into it but I'm still such a freak when anything happens to my kids. 

Fast forward to last night when Lou started feeling warm. 
She was up lots of the night and was toasty, super fussy and not herself at all today. 
All morning felt like a threatening match with Minnie who was acting the part of a two-year-old quite well. 
It sounds silly, but I was seriously on the verge of tears multiple times, mostly because I was tired and because I was worried about Lou, and also because I just felt like I was being a plain old mean mom. 
I hate when I feel like a mean mom. 
Obviously I have to discipline, but I just knew in my heart I was being too sharp with Minnie and it was killing me. 

I had to get out of the house. 
I texted Robert to see if he could come out on a walk with us during lunch around the temple grounds because I knew Min would love it, but also because I just needed a little fresh air and some Robert in my life. 

After getting the girls settled in the stroller and crossing the street from Robert's office to the temple grounds I looked up over blossoming trees to see the spires of the temple against a bright blue sky.  
It was in that moment that my heart was consumed with a sense of real peace. 
It was a feeling I had been needing for days but somehow I hadn't let the spirit in enough to really feel it. 
Just being in the presence of the temple was enough to bring a perspective I needed desperately. 
As we walked around the temple and then to the visitors center to see the statue of Christ I couldn't help but feel joyful. 
I knew I still had a tough day ahead of me, with a sick Lou and a stubborn Min, but I was reminded of how blessed I am and the reason behind why I chose to be a mother and what my family means to me. 

And the rest of today was rough...Minnie spilled an entire pitcher of red punch all over the dining room table which took an entire roll of paper towels to clean up. 
She also fought her nap like crazy, although she desperately needed it. 
I spent most of the night with Lou at instacare to find out she had an ear infection. 
I had a feeling. 
Bob and I sat down to dinner at 9:30 and both of us were starving. 
But that cute man of mine prepared the sweetest little family home evening about showing gratitude and used a story about Abraham building an altar after he moved to a new city. 
Bob had collected a bunch of rocks from outside and had Minnie help him build an altar with them and taught her about thanking God as they built it. 
Once again, such a good reminder for me.  

How grateful I am for gentle reminders that pluck me up out of my sorry-for-myself moods and get me back on track.
I desperately needed them today.

1 comment:

  1. You know I know how it is. Julia and I just had the worst dinner out of all time with the three boys. Maybe not THE worst, but one of. A little sunshine and a stroll, especially by the temple does a lot of good. I am glad Lou didn't swallow anything.