So far...

i am only 4 1/2 months into this unusual thing called pregnancy where everything in your body changes, but somehow it feels like nothing's changed at all, and yet in nine months your life is going to be 100% different and there's just no way to prepare for all the changes creeping your way. i am in limbo...and right now i'm ok with that.

the journey so far has been only slightly bumpy for me and i could not be more grateful. my relationship with the toilet has remained pretty much the same as it was pre-pregnancy...meaning i didn't throw up...not even ONCE! in fact, near the tail end of my first trimester i rarely even remembered i was pregnant because the nausea i DID have faded so quickly. here's to hoping the rest of my pregnancy is this easy. however, i figured while i can still remember what those awful, nausea and heartburn-filled days felt like and while i'm appreciating barely looking and feeling pregnant, i better get to writing a bit of what i've learned so far.

*popsicles are my best friend. when nothing else sounded good and even the smell of my own house made me want to gag, a popsicle somehow always did the trick. the cheap banana and rootbeer kinds are my very favorite. i've just discovered they also sell pace popsicles at smith's marketplace. what a dream!

*when you're nauseous, EAT...even if you're not hungry. it's totally counter intuitive, but it works.

*when heartburn hits, your evening plans fly right out the window. one saturday early on, robert and i ran to bed bath and beyond at about 5 PM to see if we could find a decently priced vacuum to purchase with one of our thousand gift cards. (fyi...vacuums are ridiculously expensive). we came out of the store with a discounted christmas ornament instead of a vacuum. close enough, right? anyhow, i felt the heartburn creeping up as we left the house but hoped it would just subside as i walked around. oh contraire! i left the store (ornament in hand) nearly crying it hurt so badly. i've had heartburn since i was about 5 years old, but it has NEVER been this bad. we had to cancel our evening plans and i spent the next 3 hours lying in bed, praying it would pass.

*the trick to getting rid of heartburn is exercise. the last thing i ever wanted to do when heartburn came on was head to the gym but i will forever love the treadmill for what it did for my aching body.

*embrace the weight gain and the growing belly. i have only gained about five pounds these last 4 1/2 months and i'm sure there's 20 or 30 more on the way. the other day at the gym i stepped on the scale for the first time in about 1 1/2 weeks and realized i'd put on about 3 pounds. the second trimester is when the lbs start packing on as the baby really starts to grow, but i couldn't help but frown to myself. in the process of turning down my chapped lips my dry bottom lip split open and started to bleed. serves me right. EMBRACE IT! at the beginning of my pregnancy i was actually losing weight because nothing sounded appetizing. even the smell of food made me cringe. seeing the numbers on the scale go DOWN is always welcome, but learning to let them gradually go up is a challenge.

*embracing the weight doesn't mean letting yourself go. i have not been as diligent about eating right as i should, but the days and weeks i do, i feel 100% better. i have consciously tried to eat at least 5-7 fruits and vegetables every day and exercise 4-5 times a week which has helped stave off nausea and excessive weight gain. i also just have a ton more energy when i'm focusing on my health. plus, it's good for the baby.

*cravings are real. i have loved pickles since my first breath in this world so my craving pickles had no link to my being pregnant. one thing i craved and craved and craved at first, which I rarely crave EVER, was a big, juicy hamburger. i tried to curb my appetite for a big bite of red meat with chicken and other healthier options, but sometimes it was just too much. a big h from hires was the only thing that would cure me.

*don't forget to write things down. i feel like all of this has happened so fast and i am already regretting not recording more of what i have been feeling and thinking during the journey to motherhood. everything is so fresh and new and exciting to me this time around. it won't be quite the same with the second baby.

*realize God is in charge. throughout these last few months i have just kept worrying about the health of the baby and thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong. besides what i eat and how i treat my body, there's really not much else i can do. i can't determine it's sex, i can't determine it's personality or mental health or capacity...i have very little control. that is hard for me. a few weeks ago, the night before we went in for the ultrasound, i asked robert to give me a blessing. during the blessing i felt this overwhelming amount of peace. it was a peace i hadn't felt since i learned i was pregnant. it wasn't necessarily the feeling that the baby was going to be perfectly healthy and strong, but that everything was in God's hands. i knew i could handle anything that came our way with Him at our side. i knew everything was in His hands and we would be ok...no matter the outcome.

*i have an awesome husband. robert is seriously the most kind man i have ever met. he has been so helpful and understanding throughout all of this and is always willing to grab me a glass of water, rub my back or even just listen to my griping. this baby girl is lucky to have such a good dad. i am lucky to have such a good husband.

i cannot wait to meet this little girl. i found a pair of little unisex shoes that i loved about 2 months into my pregnancy and they have been sitting on our bookshelf for the last few months. every time i see them a flood of excitement runs through me. soon there will be sweet little feet filling them out. MY baby's feet! my heart is full.